Fred’s Top 10: Terrifying Movie Characters (2/2)


Well, here goes the climax of my top ten most terrifying movie characters. I just noticed that the majority of the remaining characters are psychopathic maniacs and little girls. Hit the jump to see what nightmares are made of…

5. Jack Torrence – The Shining (1980)

Actor: Jack Nicholson

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

All work and no play mmakes Jack a dull boy

v All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”

4. Dr. Hannibal Lecter – The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Actor: Anthony Hopkins

Imagine going to a party with this guy: Everything would start off fine. You’d be chummin’ it up about medical practices, food, and music. Next thing you know you wake up and this motherfucker is slowly peeling away your face like an orange so he can sprinkle salt and pepper and squeeze a pinch of lemon juice onto it for additional taste.

3. Samara Morgan – The Ring (2002)

Actress: Daveigh Chase

Samara just adds to my already existent fear of little girls with unnecessarily long, jet-black hair. Seriously, who needs that long of hair? Unless you’re a wee-lady who was suffocated with a garbage bag and dropped into a well to slowly-but-surely die seven days later and then use your amazing Adobe After Effects skills to create a videotape that allowed you to crawl out of a television set seven days from being played there is absolutely no need for hair that long. End of run-on sentence.

2. James “Buffalo Bill” Gumb – The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Actor: Ted Levine

I had a friend like this guy once. He got laughs out of tucking his junk and clucking like a chicken to “Goodbye Horses.” Granted, he wasn’t a psychopathic who kidnapped woman so he could use their skin to create his own personal Dolce & Gabbana wardrobe, but I digress. I should start picking better friends…

1. Regan – The Exorcist (1973)

Actress: Linda Blair

Maybe it’s just me, but the second my daughter started levitating, speaking in tongue, carving “HELP ME” into her own stomach, saying she was a demon, and twisting her head around I’d grab the nearest baseball bat and Swing-Away-Merrill that crusty face of hers. I don’t care if she’s my only child or not. That’s just not right, man.

One Response to “Fred’s Top 10: Terrifying Movie Characters (2/2)”
  1. Spudnut says:

    This was the funniest damn thing I’ve read in a looooong time. Kudos mate.

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